Mothers day glory

happy mothers day friends!

I found this years ago in a magazine and have found great comfort and laughs from it, and I hope you do too!
(i was going to scan it and post it but i couldn't get the scanner to work with my lap top.)

How to succeed at motherhood without really trying - by Jen Singer

Shifting from working girl
to stay -at -home mom
can cause culture shock.
Anything you learned in the workplace no longer
applies. Or does it?

• transfer: Moving the baby from your right arm to your left.
• receptionist: Your four- year-old, who has just discovered the talk button on your cordless phone.
• excused absence: Surgery. Or a full-body cast. Otherwise you're pretty much on call all the time.
• downsize: When you finally fit into your pre-pregnancy jeans again.
• environmental protection compliance: a diaper genie and a can of lysol.
• company picnic: ice pops and t-ball in the driveway on a warm tuesday afternoon.
• performance review: annually, in bed, on Mothers Day. you can tell if you've done a good job by the homemade greeting cards, flowers and what appear to be froot loops mixed with grapes and chocolate chips.
• equal opportunity policy: everyone is given an opportunity to fold the laundry, but you're the only one who ever takes it.
• reception area: the spot near the door where the kids shower daddy with hugs and accolades, even though you're the one who just spent 11 hours making new outfits for barbie, reading you can name 100 cars 23 times and vacuuming dried play-doh from between couch cushions.
• sick day: doing the same thing you do every other day, only you feel worse than you normally do.
• floating holiday: spending memorial day in the kiddy pool, trying to keep your children from drowning each other.
• layoff: as in " would you lay off the cheeze doodles? i'm making dinner!"
• company stationery: whatever scrap of paper you can find to scribble a note to the teacher before the bus arrives.
• multitasking: emptying the dishwasher, filling sippy cups with apple juice and calling your child in sick (again) to the school nurse- at the same time.
• designated parking: between the tricycles and the recycling containers.
• maternity leave: the hour or so you get to yourself while the hospital nurses clean, weigh and put that cute little pink or blue hat on your newborn.
• overtime: over time, most stay-at-home moms realize that there is no overtime in a job that never ends.
• 9 to 5: a half day...

what was your favorite? mine is the last one. I hope you enjoyed the list as much as I do, I read it all through the year whenever I need a good chuckle.