Hawaii during the day. Day 1

My first touches of Waikiki sand.
Beautiful, soft, warm sand.
Paradise for this Cali raised girl








Cruzin' topless. No better way to travel while on vacation.

{Sans kids}





The Puka Dog {more on that later}
http://www.pukadog.com/
My new favorite treat!







Iron wood trees. They are amazing! They reroot themselves back into the ground, so their roots are seen from the outside!
Tell me that mother nature isn't cool!
{all over the islands}












A weird contraption you ride in the surf.
One of a kind, almost like an exercises bike tricked out so it glides across the water. You bounce up and down, and try to stay up as long as you can. {like the idea behind surfing}
good luck with that guys! pretty funny to watch:)




Well that sums up daytime of day one, i hope this gives my girl friends some insight into what Waikiki holds for them!

to tide you over

for those who want to see something- anything Hawaii, this will have to do till i get it together.
{i know your all just dying to see me in a swimsuit}

since that's pretty much all i ever wore, most of the pictures are of me in one.

our first whole day on Oahu, we put the top down on the car and rode around the island in our suits stopping at as many lookouts as we could. hence the burns covering the tops of our legs, shoulders, heads & chests. way too much fun! we blared the local radio station and enjoyed some truly soothing island tunes. the perfect start to our vacation together.

{btw- this picture is before my hair bleached out from the sun!}

deviled egg farts

mom: "peeewwww! you stink!"

14 year old: "do you think my farts smell as bad as old flower water? "

mom: " yes son. i think they smell worse!"

14 year old: "cooool... " big grin

gotta love him:)

Aloha people!
You won't be hearing from me for the next week.
Hopefully I'll come back with freckles on my face,
tan on my back and
relaxation written all over me.

what a mom might say...

My sister {in law} Deandra sent this my way & I think it is great! I had to share with all my mom friends, Enjoy!

This makes me laugh

I hope you do too!

{btw- happy mothers day to all my friends, since i won't be here}

TMI {too much info}

How long ago I was tagged... sorry, so here is one of the things i was tagged to do.

I think i'll do the bag one next:)

How long have you been together? 10 years in June

How long did you date? 2 years

How old is he? almost 37

Who said I love you first? don't remember- don't really care. as long as he says it now.

Who is taller? he is by 7 inches

Who is smarter? depends on who you ask

Who does the laundry? i do, till i complain enough or it gets to be too much build up for him to stand

Who does the dishes? me every day that ends in Y, once again- him if it becomes too much

Who pays the bills? are we talking about who's money- that's both of us - we both earn money. if we're talking who writes the checks-that's him. {he's an accountant after all}

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? looking @ the bed that's him {i wanted that side remember?}

Who mows the lawn? ME! and he knows he's goin' down if he even thinks about it! I love it! Those are my calories to burn!

Who cooks dinner? Sunnis in North city if i can help it:) Other than that- me on days that end in Y {again}. he does make mac'n cheese from scratch, cream of wheat sunday mornings for us, & poached eggs

Who is more stubborn? HE IS! { can't be me!} he always tells me to stop apologizing all the time!

Who kissed who first? this story warms my heart. so i'll tell it. i use to go high school then off to college, then to work, then to my night manager job, then home around midnight for a run.{yes i actually use to run}. one night i pulled up to my moms house across the street from his parents house, and he came out and asked me to go for a walk. it was summer and we had been on a few dates so i said yes. { i didn't know if he was an axe murderer or something!:)} he held my hand and we went around a few blocks. when we got back to my moms house i was getting stuff from my car, and when i turned back around i leaned on the door of my car, and he kissed me. all i really remember thinking was- i hope he doesn't notice that i have a canker soar! of all the times to choose to kiss me!

don't you wish you could have those sweet moments back again sometimes? i sure do.

Who asked who out?he did. actually he had been living across the street from my mom for some time{ during his divorce} and i never even knew he existed! {sorry honey} so he would see me pull in and wash my car there {my apartment charged you to wash your car there} and LEAVE ON DATES! ouch! and leave for my runs from there, so he totally saw me. he has told me he would even see me at the light by our house singing in my car. how embarrassing...he asked me to go on a picnic on sat. with him and his kids and his WHOLE family! i said i couldn't go because i would be at work, he turned to leave and i said"but i can go sunday!" he smiled and said that sunday it was. i met his whole family all at once, they have always said they loved me from the get go, i drove his truck on the way home that very first day, and his mom took the kids home. i think he asked her more so he could just be alone with me to see if he actually liked me. you know that's a hard thing to do- get to know each other when he has 2 kids under 4, 4 days a week and you both work more than full time. but as you can see it somehow worked out. plus the age difference. was it going to work? i was 18 and he was 26. he was divorced and i was 'dating'. i never dated another person from that first date with john. in fact: my mother was renting a room in her house out to a college student, and that first day john asked me out the renter was there and after john left i turned to the renter and told him i was going to marry that man. sounds corny but true. i bet that renter would laugh now if he knew how it all turned out.

Who proposed? he did. he put the ring on his pinkie, came to see me at work-waited for me to take a break. {i should have known, he never waited around for me} so we went outside and he held my hand {also something rarely done} when i noticed that something was on his pinkie i asked what it was, thinking it was one of his 4yr old daughters play rings. he took it off and the rest is history.

Who is more sensitive?ME! All the way! {wish i had kelly's 'ice princess' talent sometimes- love ya kel!}

Who has more friends?Me- but their husbands are his friends

Who has more siblings? John- by one

Who wears the pants in the relationship?Here's where that stubborn question would come into play.

most of the time me. the kids even know that. they ask me everything and know dad backs me on what i say. shilo will tell john "daddy! MOM'S in charge" he just laughs and nods

Who are you tagging? Bridget & Sarah

thanks for the tag and i hope i didn't bore you. that was very therapeutic for me! it's fun to remember those times, it seems so long ago.

empty

right now my soul is wavering
i just want it to all be over
as i sit here and cry
you can never understand the pain
the pain of knowing what i know
the future is uncertain,
and all i feel is empty
how can someone who has so much to feel
feel so little?

and so the ride continues.

no baby in the future
no trip with my husband
the reality is bleak
and my stomach is ill
my head is spinning and
my heart is aching

the hurt my step kids are feeling
the trauma they are facing
the stability is gone
the money has run out
and yet we fight

we fight for their rights-
to not be caged
to not be hurt
to have a sense of peace
no one listens to their voices
they say they want to help
but they don't
to serve and protect is no longer
their motto
and all is just circles running
in our heads
what to do next

children are frustrated
parents are worried
the safty net returns the children
over and over again
no one listens to their pain
all i hear is my heart thumping
in my ears
my hands can't hold things
they shake with worry

and as for me...
i long for the lives of others
where your worries are of paying the rent
or being on time
where you have freedom to choose
to go on a vacation with you partner
or try to expand your family
have a date with your best friend
and talk about fun things
i long for those things..
that life...

just when i feel like my stomach is sick
and i want off the roller coaster
i am put back on with my boxing gloves
at hand
and told 'just do it again, your almost there'
i have come so close to the life i wish for
only to have it ripped from my white knuckled grip

my testimony is withering away from defeat
my marriage is strong from trials
weak from struggles
my lungs feel as though i am being held under water
our voices have been taken
and our nerves frazzled

you ask what is wrong...
this is what is wrong...
i need hope for a better outcome
strength for a stronger will and
faith faith faith
tears have to end at some point
for things i long for
i'm drowning in a pool of pain
and our life is suffering for it

positive thoughts are what we need
positive words
positive actions
positive outcomes
those are what we need
so pray with me
fast with me
pray for all the children
that they will be helped

someone throw out the life vest
pull us out of the ring
give me air in my lungs
pull the plug on the coaster
i want off
we all want off