Noticing

Did you ever wonder when your husband really started to know you?
The other day this was made so very clear to me.
It went a little something like this...

We get in the truck- just the two of us, he says "oh here, I found this for you the other day" my face in puzzlement. When did he notice that I like 'wishing rocks' you know the ones, the rocks with all those continuous lines all around them...
That was not the end of his observations- next came a comment I never would have thought he knew about me.
" I just came back from Fred Meyer and all of their Sketchers are on sale- 25% off, thought you might want to know" as I stopped in my tracks, amazed that he would not only notice this sale, but remember to tell me when he got home, I once again wondered- when had he started to notice that fact about me?
I guess these things happen when you have been with a person for almost a decade.
When we fist met I wore Sketcher boots to work in the salon all day. So maybe he noticed then, maybe it was when Famous Footwear had their buy one get one half off and I came home with two new pairs of Sketchers.
Maybe in all the beach combing on the coast we have done together has made him take notice that I am always looking for that perfect 'wishing rock' to wish all my life dreams on, to rub in my hands and think of all the dreams I made on wishing rocks when I was a kid.
Maybe,...
Maybe he is just listening to me, really listening.

I Got Tagged!

4 jobs i've had:
1. Secretary at a Chiropractic clinic
2. Teachers assistant at a School for deaf children
3. Outside sales associate for Beauty Supplies & hair dresser
4. Nanny for the last 7 years

4 movies i could watch over & over:
1. Pride and Prejudice {A&E version} thanks Kelly
2. Nothing to lose- I saw this on a double date with my mom in '97-it has me busting up!
3. How to lose a guy in 10 days- wish i looked like Kate Hudson
4. Failure to launch- there is a Matthew McConaughey theme here- soooo cute!

4 places i have lived:
1. Culver City Ca.
2. Los Angeles Ca.
3. Edmonds Wa.
4. Shoreline Wa.

favorite TV shows:
1. A&E's First 48- This is part of my "TV night" when I watch this and HGTVs house hunters
2. Oprah- LOVE her! I don't miss a show, sometimes i'm days late, but i still watch it
3. Lock up & Lock Down cool prison shows we watch together, makes me want to be a Warden
4. John & Kate plus 8- one set of twins-one set of sextuplets, they are such a cool couple!

favorite foods:
1. Diet coke- I'm with Marie on this one, it's a food group...
2. Gratzii resturants Risotto-Yummo!!!
3. Ben & Jerry's light fish food-it's my favorite
4. Topallinos pepperoni pizza -out in Bellevue

websites i frequent:
1. http://www.kiva.org/ if you want to make a difference in the world-amazing idea!
2. http://www.heifer.org/ if the animal route is more your nature
3. http://www.erainimages.com/ really cool images
4. http://www.ballardcamera.com/ to order all my digital prints

4 places i'd rather be:
1. The Bahamas - love everything about it!
2. Disneyland - we used to live semi close, so I've been 20 something times
3. Hawaii- ahhh ...love the sun!
4. Montana- camping with my family, with no one else for miles...peace with nature-just grand!

3 people to tag next:
1. Rebbecca
2. Emily
3. Monica- you gotta start back at it Mon-love ya!

Salsa

MMM, the word brings to mind yummy food, sweating brow and a really good recipe!

My girlfriend Yvette taught me how to make this many years ago;

The great part is that she is right next door, so when it isn't 'just right' I call her over for some good ol' fashion mexican cooking lessons! {next on the menu- how to make homemade refried beans..}

Anyway, as I was having an after school snack of baked tortilla chips and homemade salsa with the kids, I thought of how grateful I am to have Yvette's recipe to share with my family, and then I thought- maybe one of my friends would want to make salsa some time.

Once you've made your own, you'll never go back to store bought! I guarantee it doesn't taste as good as your own!

As a side note: pick jalapenos that look like they have little brown cracks on them, they are the spicy ones!

Also I use the Tupperware salsa maker, but if you don't have one you could just chop everything really fine, or use a chopper.

Salsa

1/4 an onion

1 jalapeno

1 bunch cilantro

1/2 lime

about 1 tbs salt

Roma tomatoes

chop first three first, then add the rest and spin with the salsa maker or chop all together.

Enjoy!

Let me know if you try it and what you think!

Disneyland 2007

As we entered the park we snapped our first Disney photo, we were so excited to all go together for the first time! John and I took Chastin when he was four, and Al and Jordan had been before, so this made it Shilos first time and our whole families first time together. I had wanted to go all of us for a while, but I wanted to wait till Shilo could go on rides. She was tall enough for the Matterhorn- and she LOVED it!!! We went on it again and again! It was so much fun!
Proof that mom was there too... I'm always behind the camera;) Glad they were all smiling for this picture! That's no easy task when you have four kids!
Shilo wore this fanny pack the whole trip! John and I got this for her in Vegas, little did we know that she was going to love it this much! She kept her money that great grandma sent her in there, and wanted to pay for everything for all of us. She is so sweet! We just love her, she lights up every moment of our lives!
All tuckered out! We arrived first thing in the morning and rode all the rides we could fit in, and saw all the shows we could, met all the characters we could, then left around midnight. All four were really worn out. We were glad to have a hotel close by to retreat to. till the next day!{actually, we went on Wednesday then again on Friday}

• Shilo was in love with everything Disney-rides-and princesses!
• Chastin loves fast rides! He enjoyed the whole two days! Overall California Scream'n was his all time favorite!
• Alex is happy to ride anything that you get wet on or you go really fast!
• Jordan is happy to go on anything with anyone!
• John is happy that Disneyland serves coffee so he could stay awake and happy while at the "happiest place on earth".
• And I was happy to watch Chastin and Shilo have a blast! I get joy from seeing my kids have fun, and I love taking pictures of them, so all was well for me!

School days

MY SECOND GRADER

how did he grow up so fast?!

i always do this thing with my kids head, where i push on them and tell them

"your not allowed to grow anymore"

it doesn't seem to be working though...

he is such a sweet boy.

i am truly blessed,

i couldn't have asked for a better son.

life

While I see everyone else as happy, and having a nice three day weekend with their families, I have to stay home, in bed and let my meds take over. I am having a miscarriage. Once again I feel defeated. I feel alone, even though I know I'm not. I thought after the last babies death, there is no way this could happen to me again. The doctors did say that this was a possibility, so I was a little more cautious. I have to say that this time it is different. I was closely monitored, weekly ultrasounds, two times a week blood tests, and a doctors appointment every week. Yet all things to no avail. I am yet again left with the empty feeling of what was to be.The good news is that this time we found out eight weeks into the pregnancy, not 22 weeks. I didn't tell Chastin or Shilo so I could hopefully save them some hurt. They just know that I wasn't feeling well and that the doctors are making my stomach and fever feel better. It is easier this way I have to say, still not any fun, but easier to handle. I got to come home after the doctors, change into pj's (my favorite things on earth) take my pills to help with the process, and go to sleep (another one of my favorite things).

This is not a sympathy post. So I hope it doesn't come across that way.

A whopping thirty percent of pregnancy's and in miscarriage. That's a ton.

I wish people didn't have to go through this. I feel bad, like this is what our bodies are meant to do, so why does it sometimes not work. Why can some never have children, why can some have children and then not be able to have any more? How is it that some just think of getting pregnant and do, how do some just float through pregnancy time after time. Like my friend Evian, seven kids- no problemo.My house cleaner too- seven, no problem.

The pharmacist who gave me my prescriptions was so understanding, she knew what the medications were for and started to cry. She could feel my pain. It was if I didn't even need to say anything she just understood.

She told me she had had a similar experience, two miscarriages, then the birth of her two kids. And she had the most amazingly soothing voice, she touched my heart. There are perfect strangers out there who really do care. She told me about what to expect from the drugs because she had gone through this herself. I was truly thankful for her courage.

She could have kept to herself; I'm glad she didn't.

I am sorry to Paige that I can't come meet Sommer yet,
Sorry to Lauren for having a stranger call you about teaching 30 min. meals,
Sorry to the people I work for, for canceling on them on Friday after we had been to the doctors office and got our news,
Sorry to all you who aren't going to get through when you call- all ringers are off.
Sorry to my two sisters in law, I hope that I didn't ruin your weekends, I know you had fun things planned to do with your families, and I didn't want you to worry about us all weekend.
I am thankful to Emily for taking my kids on short notice even though it was her birthday.
Thank you to my mom in law for feeding us, keeping the kids whenever we needed and telling me her story of miscarriage.
Thank you to Sarah, my specialist, who prepared me for the news two weeks in advance, then shared her story with me on Friday.
Thank you to my husband- words can't describe how thankful I am to have your support and love through this again.I know it's hard on you too, and you tend to be forgotten during times like this.

The strangest thing about this whole deal is that I wasn't even trying to get pregnant, but isn't it funny how once you are, you really want it. So my father in law, who is by far one of the best men I have ever had the privilege of knowing always knows how to make me smile. He says to me about a week or so ago, "well you know, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. So you better plan on going back to get the baby around mid April" I still just smile thinking about that. Maybe what happens in Vegas really does stay in Vegas!

So I am off to go back to bed. My heating pad and I have a date with season six of Everybody loves Raymond!
Take care.

THE SEQUOIAS

SEQUOIA NATIONAL PARK
I have always been one to enjoy nature, and I am glad to have this beautiful world to share with my children. As a child I spent my summers here in Washington with my grandparents and they took me to all sorts of beautiful national monuments, deserts, and parks up and down Washington, Oregon and California. This was a park I had yet to see, so I was glad John and I got to experience it together.
I grew to have a great appreciation for the beauty that man cannot make. I hope to teach my kids the importance of taking care of this world and taking pride in what has been created for us to enjoy.
If you ever get a chance to see the Sequoia's for yourself, I would strongly suggest to spend the day in their beauty. And if you have already seen them, you know the feeling you get when you stand in their presents.


My kiddos on a fallen SEQUOIA, these trees are amazing!











A giant pine cone we found at the park. I think it is just beautiful, where else are you going to see such a wonderful piece of nature...


The view from the forest floor, the trees remind me that I am just a small being in this world.